Dreams Come True--A Round-Robin Fic
Parts 1-6
Authors: Raindrops on Roses, Paula B., Clair, Kris, Rising Sun, and Sarah B.
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Rating: NC-17
Category: Round Robin; Romance
Spoilers: Vanished
Disclaimers: None of these characters belong to any of the authors. They all belong to DPB and CBS. No author is doing this for monetary benefit.
Authors' Notes: This story was started before the three-part season finale. Therefore, the events of "Lawyers, Guns, and Money", "Pas De Deux", and "A Tangled Webb" have not occurred--unless someone wants to write it that way. ;-) Oh, yes, and all thoughts are in italics.
Feedback: Tis food for the soul, so YES! Send it.
Permission to archive: Just ask the webmistress, if you're so inclined.
Story started: June 29, 2003
{Part 1}{Part 2}{Part 3}{Part 4}{Part 5}{Part 6}
Saturday, 10 May 2003
1330 EDT
Sarah MacKenzie's Apartment
201 The Washington
Georgetown, Washington, DC
"He proposed!"
The two words Sarah MacKenzie had been dreading for the past three months hung in the air like a thick fog. Her friend, Meredith Cavanaugh, and her
commanding officer, AJ Chegwidden, had been dating on and off for about a year now. In February, after AJ had become lost in a blizzard after punching out of an F-14, they had finally become serious. Now, evidently, they were going to take the final step.
Mac licked her suddenly dry lips. "That's--that's wonderful, Meredith."
Of course, to Mac, AJ was not just her CO... but she couldn't admit that to anyone. It would mean her oak leaves.
She wasn't certain when her feelings for the tall, handsome admiral had changed. Oh, she had always found him attractive--actually, downright sexy. She supposed it had been just after Mic Brumby had left. She had been feeling quite down after the wedding had been cancelled, and AJ had basically called Mic a fool for letting her go. She had taken that thought with her on her TDY to the Guadalcanal, mulling over it at quiet times--which were rare, but happened enough to keep the memory fresh in her mind. Then, when she had returned from the Guadalcanal, AJ had suggested they run together in order to train for the JAGathon, the 10k race that had taken place in November 2001. Over the three months that they had trained together, she had learned many little things about her CO, which made her like him more and more as a person.
Mac supposed it was during his Flag Mast that her feelings had really solidified. She couldn't stand the thought of AJ retiring--and not just because he was the best CO she had ever had. And when he had been lost in that blizzard... she had tried to prepare herself for the worst, so that it wouldn't hurt so much if it did happen.
When AJ and Meredith had met, Mac had been almost certain that nothing would come of it. Meredith just seemed too... flighty for what Mac had seen and heard of AJ's tastes in women. 'Well, you were obviously wrong, MacKenzie!' she told herself, silently berating herself for the tears that threatened to escape.
"Mac? Hello? Mac... you still there?"
Mac turned her attention back to the telephone receiver by her ear. "Yeah, I'm here. Sorry, Mer, I have a lot on my mind."
"Not too much, I hope. Mac, will you stand up for me?"
Mac dropped the phone. Fumbling to pick it up, her mind scrambled for a reply. "Uh, Meredith, aren't you supposed to ask a female relative to do that... or at the very least, a close friend?"
Meredith's laughter bubbled over the line. "Oh, Mac, I know that. But my
sister and I haven't spoken for nearly fifteen years now, and I don't have too many close friends. Besides, if it weren't for you, AJ and I would never have met! Please, Mac? Won't you be my maid of honor?"
"Meredith, this is highly irregular... not to mention improper. I can't be in my CO's wedding party!"
"Oh, bosh. Why not? Everyone knows that we're friends. Please," Meredith beseeched her.
Mac took a deep, shuddering breath. Every nerve ending in her body was
screaming, 'No! Hang up and run!' She ignored her tumbling emotions, and said, "Yes. Of course I will, Meredith."
"Wonderful! Now, we're going to have to have lunch sometime soon. I saw this gorgeous dress pattern while window shopping that I simply loved..." Mac tuned Meredith out as she rambled on.
'Oh, God. What have I done?' she thought in despair.
Mac felt like throwing something against the wall, just to hear it break, just like her heart was breaking. It was too late, she had waited too long. Now he was engaged to a woman she considered a friend. How could she even think of telling the Adm... AJ how she felt? That was how she thought of him, even if she shouldn't. In her heart he was and always would be AJ.
Going for a run helped the edginess she was feeling, but it did nothing to lessen the pain in her heart. How could she walk up the aisle of a church with him waiting there in the front... for someone else, not her? She would have to call Meredith and tell her she could not be her maid of honor.
'Maybe I should go and talk to AJ and see if he could--' Mac shook her head, 'No! Bad idea, Marine! Stay away from him! He is not yours, and never will be now!'
Saturday, 10 May 2003
2330 EDT
AJ Chegwidden's home
McLean, Virginia
Mac walked to the door, ignoring the lateness of the hour, and knocked. The Admiral came to the door rather quickly, indicating that he had not been in bed. He was dressed in jeans and a T-shirt, and Mac found herself staring at the tight fit of those jeans.
"Mac, what are you doing here at this hour? Is something wrong?"
"No, AJ; I just had to talk to you."
Startled at the use of his first name, AJ nonetheless backed up and allowed her to come into the living room.
"Have a seat, Mac, and tell me what you need to talk about. It must be pretty important if it brings you out at this hour."
"Yes, it is. I want a transfer."
"What?!" he bellowed.
"You heard me; I want a transfer," she insisted.
"Mac... have you been drinking?"
"God, I wish I had been; it would make this so much easier."
"Please sit down and tell me what's wrong. Why would you want a transfer? I thought you were happy at JAG."
"I was, until you..."
"Me? What did I do to make you unhappy, Mac?"
Throwing caution to the winds, Mac exclaimed, "You got engaged, damn it! How could you?"
"Mac, why should my engagement upset you so?"
"Because you are mine!" There, she had said it. She had admitted how she felt, finally. This admission freed her to do what she had wanted to do for years... she stepped close to him, took his face in her hands, and pulled him down to meet her lips in a rough and passionate kiss.
Not allowing him to pull back, when she felt him try, Mac kept his lips locked with hers and started to lift his T-shirt over his head. She had come this far; she was not going to back out now!
AJ, all of a sudden, stopped resisting the kiss she had started and began to kiss her back. He was also busy trying to remove her clothing. It seemed he was as eager to see her naked as she was to see him that way.
Dropping to her knees, Mac snapped open his jeans and undid the zipper with her teeth. She practically tore them off, thrilled to find he was wearing no underwear. His cock sprang free of his jeans right in front of her eyes. In seconds, she had it in her mouth and began sucking on him. He tasted as good as she had imagined, the many times she had dreamed of doing this very thing.
He stopped her after just a few minutes and dragged her to her feet so he could kiss her again. Not wanting to move very far at all, they both fell naked onto the couch, wrapped in each other's arms where both had wanted to be for so very long.
Mac grasped his cock in her hand and guided it into her; she was wet and ready for him. He met her desire by thrusting home, deep inside of her. Matching him thrust for thrust, Mac looked up into his passion-filled eyes. She came, screaming his name.
The sound of her voice calling out, "AJ!" was what woke her from the most realistic dream she had ever had.
Miles away in McLean, AJ jerked awake as well. It had been a long time since he had had a wet dream. 'My god, I'm engaged to Meredith! What am I doing, having that kind of dream about Mac?' he thought as he got up to clean himself and the bed up.
JAG Headquarters
The Next Day
0500 Hours
Mac had gone into the office that morning early after waking up from her dream. She was restless and decided that she might as well go and get an early start to the day.
The Admiral was surprised when he walked into the bullpen and went to Mac's office to find her there at this hour. He knocked on the door, and she rose to attention.
"Please, sit. Mac, what are you doing here at this hour? Better yet, what time did you get here?"
"About 0400, Sir. I... I couldn't sleep, so I figured I might as well get some work done."
AJ nodded his head. "Yeah, I thought the same thing this morning. I have been up since about 0300, but... I guess I was trying to fight it."
"Wedding day nerves, Sir?" AJ looked up at her with surprised eyes. "I'm sorry, Sir; that's none of my business."
"Well, in a way, I guess it is. Meredith told me that she asked you to be her maid of honor." Mac nodded and looked down at her paperwork, desperately trying to avoid his face. He sat down in the chair in front of hers and tried to see what she was trying to conceal. She looked up slightly to find her eyes locked with his. They stared at each other like this for what seemed like eternity, but was actually only about 30 seconds.
"Mac; if you don't feel comfortable standing up for Meredith, I can tell her to find someone else. I could easily say that it is against protocol or something like that."
"Well, Sir... it isn't... I mean... I don't...." Mac could feel the tear coming down her cheek, but was unable to push them all back. She was desperately trying to fight her feelings, but was not succeeding with much grace. Her dream only brought her feelings more to life. Having him here now only made it feel more real. AJ could see something was upsetting Mac. He reached into his pants and pulled out a napkin and gave it to her.
"Mac, what is it? What's wrong?
"I'm sorry, A., I mean, Sir... I'm okay now."
'Was she really about to call me AJ? Is it something that I said?' "Mac, you obviously are not fine, otherwise you wouldn't be crying. You know you can talk to me if you want? I'm always here for you."
Mac shook her head. Hearing him say that he was always going to be there for her upset her even more, because pretty soon, he wasn't going to be there. He would be with Meredith.
AJ sat in his chair, confused and baffled. He had never seen Mac so upset. He desperately wanted to take her into his arms and tell her it would be okay. That he would make everything right, somehow. 'Where did that come from?' AJ stood and went to the door. He thought maybe she wanted to be alone. He was also very confused.
"Mac, I will let you have some privacy. I am just around the corner if you need me, though." AJ was almost out of the door when he heard Mac's whisper.
"Please, don't go."
Coming back inside, he closed the door. "What is it?"
She took a deep breath. She couldn't do this. She wouldn't do this to herself. All last night, after her dream, she had thought of nothing but drinking. Nothing, not even AJ Chegwidden, was worth that. She had get away from him. But what?
Like a sign from above, she remembered a message she had deleted yesterday. Friends were always sending her job postings and before Meredith's call she had always deleted them without question. But now she remembered it.
"Mac?" His voice was soft and full of concern. But she knew she had to broach the subject carefully. Somehow, 'I need to leave because I want to fuck you senseless,' didn't seem quite right. It would certainly work, but she didn't need him thinking she was a slut.
"Sir. I have a request. I've given it a lot of thought. I know it will put you in a bind, but it will be good for me and my career."
He cocked his head and wondered what that had to do with standing up for Meredith. He felt his insides grow cold, dreading what she was about to say. "You aren't resigning again, are you, Colonel?" He hadn't meant for his voice to sound so cold, but he couldn't help it.
Her head jerked up and she bit her lip so hard she could taste blood. "No, sir. This could actually mean a full Colonel."
"Indeed." His eyes narrowed and he crossed his arms. All thoughts of weddings and Meredith suddenly moved to the back burner. "Well?"
"There's a posting for a military attaché for our embassy in London." 'Don't you see? Oh, please see. This is best. For me. For you. For Meredith. I have to do this. Maybe that dream had meant something. Just not what I wanted it to mean.'
AJ felt lightheaded. He wasn't sure he heard her correctly. 'She wants to leave? Leave me? How could she?' "You feel like you're in a rut here,
Colonel?"
"It's time to move on, sir. I feel it is best for the Marine Corps and my career. I'm just going through the motions."
"Indeed. I hadn't noticed." He glared down at the woman he had wanted for nearly five years now. He had tried hard to find adequate substitutes. He had found one. Meredith. Available; she didn't have the restrictions of being a subordinate. Age; he and Meredith shared the same history. Interests; they shared a love of Shakespeare. And, if Meredith was reckless, she seemed to be working on it. He knew a lot of men who cracked jokes about their wives' cooking. He didn't want to be alone in his old age. He wanted a companion, even if there wasn't deep passion. Damn, he wanted Mac. 'Well, sailor, you can't have her. Maybe this is all for the best.'
'What is he thinking about? He looks so sad, so angry. Is he mad at me? Tough! I need this.'
He quickly nodded his head. "Very well, Colonel. Allow me to make some phone calls. I'll get back to you this afternoon."
"Thank you, sir."
Without another word, AJ turned and practically threw open her door. And if he closed it a little harder than necessary, she told herself it was just an accident. It was like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders, only to settle in the pit of her stomach. 'Fine and good. He wants this too. He didn't even try and talk me out of it. He is probably disappointed in me. Or he just doesn't care. This will be good for me. This will be good for me. I will not cry. Maybe the transfer won't go through. Stop it. I want this.'
JAG Headquarters
The Next Day
0850 Hours
Commander Harmon Rabb, Jr. was in a hurry. He was late AGAIN. The Admiral was going to have his head--or maybe just put him on bread, water and little old ladies' wills for the next eighteen years or so.
Traffic was getting worse in DC. What he needed was his own air transport--after all, he was a pilot... military, at that.
Feeling like the last kid in class, Harm pushed open the large oak doors to the conference room that doubled as the weekly briefing room, and, of course, all eyes zoomed his way.
He could cut the atmosphere with a knife. "Sorry, sir," he mumbled and slipped into the nearest seat. Even as he settled down, he felt the atmosphere... something was not right.
Then the other shoe dropped.
The Admiral took a deep breath and not even looking Mac's way made the announcement. "The Colonel has been made Legal Attaché to the US Ambassador to St James's Court..." The collective gasp cut him short.
Harriett spoke first. "Effective immediately, Sir?"
This time, AJ looked at Mac--she seemed to have shrunk... or was that his imagination? God! She was so beautiful and deadly... an irresistible combination. He scanned her, but she refused to look at him. She looked as miserable as he felt. He had made arrangements for the assignment to be immediate, but now his SEAL instincts were kicking in.
Why the sudden need to move?
Why NOW?
Why a change of command?
Why change country?
What about Harm? Even Meredith had noted they needed couples' counseling.
If she was getting the assignment, why the mournful look?
He came to a decision; well, actually, he played a hunch. "No, Lieutenant. Meredith has asked and the Colonel has agreed to be the Maid of Honour at our wedding. Once that obligation is met, then it will be immediate." What was that he saw cross Mac's face? Relief? Horror? What was wrong with that woman? Well, now he had time to find out.
Mac heard the words and was torn. That was fast. Was he THAT eager to see the back of her? Well, she, too, needed to get away, but she so wanted to be near him. She focused. When was the wedding? Lord, she hoped it wasn't this time next year. With her luck, who knew?
It was bad enough that she had to stay here, but as Chief of Staff, it was now budget season, and if last year was any indication, she and AJ were about to spend some long nights together. Or maybe that was good. Who knew? By now, her nerves were too raw for her logic to make any sense. "Huh?" she looked up at Sturgis.
"Congrats, Mac," he said.
She looked round. They were alone. "Where is everyone?"
He looked round as if to confirm the absence. "Gone."
"But you stayed." She stood.
"I was wondering..."
"About?"
"Harm," he said in a conspiritorial manner.
"What about him?" She gathered her files together.
"How can you leave the man you love behind?" He was recalling her confession all those months ago.
Mac stood, took a deep breath, looked the man in the eye and said, "I've met someone worthy of me. Unrequited love will only go so far." And that's more of the truth than you will know,'she thought.
"Uh-huh." Sturgis nodded; he fell into step with her. "As a friend, I love Harm dearly, but as a friend, I KNOW that the man is a fool. And letting you slip through his fingers is one I'll never understand. On the other hand, I wish you all the best, with the new career and new man."
"That all she's ever wanted," Harm said as they rounded the corner.
Mac paled; had he heard? If so, how much?
His next words left no doubt. "Remember, it's what you have always wanted--a great career, a good man, and comfortable shoes, lots and lots of them." Then he turned on his heel and walked away.
"He didn't hear." Sturgis had read her mind.
She only managed to nod as she headed for her office. She needed to find out when the wedding was. The decision now was whom to ask. The Admiral or Meredith?
She groaned; first, an aspirin, as she considered not just that, but the upcoming budget nights.
JAG HQ
2030 Hours
One Week Later
"...so the Comptroller allotted us only $22 million total for computer-related expenses, but that's not going to leave enough for the equipment upgrades we need to tie offices in the PACCOM into the new case-tracking system, so maybe we can suggest shifting some from the, uh, the... hmm... where can we spare some money?" Mac asked, scratching her head and digging through a pile of papers.
AJ looked through a printout on his lap and then up at Mac. "I don't know where we can squeeze out another penny," he said. "Maybe we can put the equipment in as a procurement request instead of under Operations & Maintenance..." He rattled on for several minutes, throwing out various strategies and figures, and finally said, "What do you think, Mac? Mac??"
Mac started at the sound of her name. She'd pretty much stopped paying attention as soon as he looked up at her, peering at her over the top of his glasses. He thought the reading glasses made him look old, but she thought there was no sexier sight than him with those half-glasses perched on his nose, staring deeply into her eyes. She couldn't count the number of dreams she'd had that began with her reaching over to pull those glasses from his face just before she put her lips to his in a hot, wet, frantic kiss... mmmm... she unconsciously licked her lips thinking about it as she drifted back into her fantasy.
AJ stared at her glazed eyes and flushed cheeks, stunned. Dear Lord, if he didn't know better, he'd swear the woman was in the throes of a sexual fantasy! What it was about budget figures and end-of-year forecasts that could get her excited, he couldn't begin to imagine. Although he had to admit that he'd drifted off into that realm once or twice himself this evening. Something about her sitting across the coffee table from him sitting in that oversized armchair... she'd discarded her shoes hours ago, and he found the way she fidgeted her bare feet when she was trying to figure something out unbelievably sexy. He wanted to pull her out of the chair and on top of him as he stretched out on the couch... He pulled himself up with a jerk. "MAC!" he repeated, as much to snap himself out of it as her.
"Oh, Sir, I'm sorry, I was just..." she trailed off lamely. "Tell me again why Bud isn't here helping us?" she said, trying to divert him.
"He's still on restricted duty, can't let him work the late nights anymore," AJ explained. "Damn shame, too--that boy is a wonder with budgets. We could really use his brain right now. Uh, no offense, Colonel."
"None taken, believe me. Maybe it's time to return him to full active status. When I'm gone, he'd make a great Chief of Staff." She saw him wince as mentioned her departure, just as she felt the pain inside herself. They'd manage to avoid the subject for a week by unspoken agreement. Oh, well, now that it was out in the open again... "Uh, speaking of which, Sir, when is the wedding? Meredith never said." Probably because Mac had been dodging her phone calls. She couldn't bear listening to her friend go on and on about how happy she was to be marrying AJ.
"Uh, let's see, I had Tiner put it on my schedule, hang on..." he replied, picking up his Palm Pilot. "Oh, yes, four weeks from next Saturday." He felt that sinking feeling again--the one he got every time he thought about his wedding day. He'd managed to avoid getting sucked into all the wedding plans by pleading budget season, but that wouldn't work forever. He sighed.
Mac caught the look of disquiet that passed over his face and felt a flare of hope. Maybe he wasn't as thrilled to be getting married as he pretended to be. He didn't even know the date of his own wedding without looking it up. She still had four weeks. Did she dare use them to find out if it she wasn't too late, if she could make him feel about her the way she felt about him? She knew he desired her--she'd caught him in a few times this week staring at her legs in a very unbusinesslike manner. Once they'd accidentally touched hands reaching for the same chart, and she was sure he'd felt the same jolt she had at the contact. And they knew each other so well--these late work nights had reminded her how close they'd gotten on a personal level in the past couple of years. Could she put those two facets together and make them click in his heart?
'But what about Meredith?' her conscience prodded. 'Remember Mer, your FRIEND? Who asked you to be her Maid of Honor? Who TRUSTS you to spend all these nights alone with her fiancé?' Mac parried, 'Hey, is it my fault the woman is stupid? Besides,' she rationalized, 'if AJ and I are really meant to be together, than I'm saving her from marrying the wrong man.' She realized how lame that sounded, but dammit, this was serious! Her whole future depended on it, and she couldn't see how Meredith could possibly love AJ in the same soul-deep way that she did. She looked across at him for a moment and came to a decision.
"Sir, I don't know about you, but I'm starving," she said. "Why don't we pack all this stuff up and go to my apartment? I'll fix some dinner and we can finish most of this stuff in just a few hours." 'And then maybe I'll see how long it takes to finish you off,' she thought naughtily.
AJ stared at her for a long moment, assessing her. He wasn't sure what she was up to, but he knew she was up to something. And by the gleam in her eye, it was something... good. For the last week, he'd fretted about his decision to marry Meredith, knowing he would never love her as he did the woman across from him. He'd asked for a sign, something to tell him if he was doing the right thing. Maybe this was the answer he'd been asking for.
Ever since she'd abruptly asked for a transfer after his engagement, he'd wondered. Maybe his wedding is what had made her cry that morning in her office. That's why he'd played a hunch and delayed her transfer. He'd thought about laying his feelings out in the open and seeing if he could ever hope for Mac to return them. He knew she found him attractive--hell, hadn't he just caught her fantasizing? He was pretty sure it wasn't the FY04 budget that had put that look in her eyes. And the last week being closeted together for hours at a time had reminded him how close they'd gotten over the years, all the little personal things they'd shared. Could she be thinking the same way he was? He decided it was time to find out.
"Sounds good, Mac, but I've tasted your cooking," he said, beginning to stack up the papers surrounding them. "We'll go to my place."
