The Definition of Irony
Author: Raindrops on Roses
Rating: G
Category: Romance, Angst
Spoilers: Heart and Soul
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. Although that would be nice, they belong to DPB, CBS, Paramount, and the other big shots.
Author's Notes: This is *my* ending to "Heart and Soul". I refuse to even consider the canon ending. Didn't happen. Nope. (There's a river in Egypt, and it's called De Nile...) Well, hope you enjoy! By the way, for anyone who's wondering, the definition of irony is "incongruity between what might be expected and what actually occurs."
Friday, 1 March 2003
2120 EST
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia
Admiral AJ Chegwidden groaned and ran his hand over his scalp. He was stuck in his office, trying to complete the paperwork he missed during his impromptu absence. Much of it was to explain exactly why one of his officers had disobeyed orders. He was a bit irritated by that, but found it difficult to be angry. If Commander Rabb hadn't gone out into that blizzard, AJ would probably be dead right then.
The doctors hadn't wanted to release AJ, but he had pulled rank and used the threat of a lawsuit to force them to let him go. When he had shown up at JAG Ops the next morning, his staff had been courteous and obedient, but he had noticed the worried looks they shot at each other behind his back.
AJ stretched, trying to ease the aching muscles in his neck and back. He winced at the ache in his side. He was battered and bruised all over from his landing after the ejection. Meredith would usually offer to give him a massage, but she hadn't, for two reasons. One, he would've refused, anyway. There was no reason to make his injuries any worse than they already were. Two, they were no longer seeing each other. The breakup was, in AJ's opinion, the very definition of irony. Meredith had sat next to his hospital bed, looked him straight in the eye, and said, "AJ, I'm sorry. I can't see you anymore. I can't be with a man who purposely puts himself into danger. I won't wait around, praying for a miracle, if something happens to you. I can't, AJ." AJ had just sat there, open-mouthed in shock. After Meredith had left, AJ had started to laugh. He realized that the doctors probably thought he had finally snapped, but he couldn't help
but see the humor in the situation. This woman, who had nearly killed herself in Rabb's small plane, broke up with him because he accidentally ejected from a Tomcat.
AJ stood and made his way over to the couch. He decided to take a short nap to recharge his mind; then he would get back to that paperwork. Lying down, he fell asleep almost immediately.
2200 EST
JAG Headquarters
Lieutenant Colonel Sarah MacKenzie grabbed the file she had been working on and briskly walked to the Admiral's office. Planning to drop the file in his inbox, she noticed that the light was still on, and the door partially open. Knocking softly, she did not hear an answer, so she quietly pushed the door open and stepped inside. Mac grimaced at the mountain of paperwork on the desk.
Placing the file where he would (hopefully) find it, Mac turned to leave, when she saw a figure on the couch, just out of reach of the pool of light from the desk lamp. She tiptoed over, and saw the Admiral, fast asleep. Mac smiled fondly at her CO. Unlike most of the others at JAG, she knew that the Admiral hadn't had much help during the past two weeks, since Meredith had broken up with him. Mac had tried to convince Meredith that this was a rare occurrence, and that she really thought Meredith was good for AJ, but her friend did not want to listen. Mac found it extremely ironic that she was pushing her friend into the arms of the man she wanted for herself, but stopped that train of thought before it could do any more damage to her psyche or her heart.
Mac grabbed the afghan on the back of the couch and covered AJ with it. She didn't want to disturb him; she knew that this was probably the first real sleep he had gotten for weeks. For one precious moment, she simply watched her CO; the man of her dreams, the man she could never have. She studied the lines of his face, usually so stern and foreboding, softened by slumber. She wanted to reach out and smooth the worry lines in his forehead, lean down and kiss him, but checked the impulse.
Turning to leave, Mac felt a hand close on her wrist. She turned back, heart racing, wondering if he was going to chew her out for not waking him. Her fears were eased, however, when she noticed he was still asleep. She gently attempted to pull her hand from AJ's, but he wouldn't relinquish his grip. He only tightened it and murmured, "Don't leave me."
Mac's heart broke at the anguished whisper. She knelt by the couch, and whispered, "I won't leave. I'll be right here." The sleeping man smiled and settled again, but still didn't let go of her hand.
Mac wondered at this man. All the people she knew saw him as the Admiral, a pillar of strength... but did he ever just get to be the man, with all his strengths and weaknesses? He seemed so vulnerable at that moment. Mac knew that being out in that blizzard must have been difficult, both physically and mentally. She had seen flashes of it, but she had been so busy, trying to track down Meredith and keep JAG Ops afloat without its commanding officer, that she wasn't able to really concentrate on them.
AJ began to toss on the couch, agitated. Mac ran her free hand over his face as he clutched her other hand like it was a lifeline. She murmured comforting words to AJ, trying to calm him. Finally, he did.
Just as she finally extracted her hand from his grip, Mac heard a whisper.
"Sarah. I love you."
Mac closed her eyes against the tears that threatened to fall. 'Oh, AJ,' she thought despairingly. Her heart ached for him... for them both. Did the fates ordain that neither of them would ever be lucky in love? Why did it have to be so difficult?
She forced her thoughts and her tears away. Standing, she quietly padded over to the desk, turned out the light, and left AJ's office. Closing the door behind her, she whispered to the empty bullpen, not the four words she wanted to say, but one word filled with promise.
"Someday."
