Once Upon a Fool Ago

Author: Raindrops on Roses

Rating: PG
Category: Vignette, Angst

Disclaimers: All hail DPB. He owns them, not me.

Author's Notes: "Once Upon a Fool Ago" is sung by Trace Adkins.




Climbing into his cold, empty bed, he leaned against the headboard and sighed. Staring at the walls, he let his thoughts overtake him.


It's the hour of ghosts
I'm the sole survivor
You keep pushing me
To pull another all-nighter
Watching on these walls
Memory silhouettes
All the tender times
All the old regrets


She haunted him constantly. Her flashing brown eyes... The burnished copper highlights of her hair... The softness of her skin pressed against his...

He watched the shadows on the walls, remembering the long, sleepless nights they had spent, enjoying each other's bodies. He could still see her silhouette on the wall as she stood before him, the moonlight gilding her nude body with its silver glow.


And I wish I could take back our last goodbye
Knowing what I know now about foolish pride
I'd hold you in my loving arms
And say I love you so
And I wouldn't start this story
Once upon a fool ago


"Listen to me, goddammit!"

"No, AJ! Not when you're like this!"

He didn't even remember what they were fighting about. All he could remember was her storming out furiously. He again heard the slam of the door, and the rev of her car engine as she peeled out of the driveway.


It's the same routine
Ever since you've gone
You creep into my dreams
Won't leave me alone
So I haunt these halls
And I rattle my chains
And I moan about
What I can't change


Lost in his memories, his mind faintly registered the clock striking midnight. He recalled her uncanny way of knowing the exact time, without needing a watch. He chuckled humorlessly. Shifting his gaze from the wall, his eyes fell upon the photograph on his nightstand.


And I wish I could take back our last goodbye
Knowing what I know now about foolish pride
I'd hold you in my loving arms
And say I love you so
And I wouldn't start this story
Once upon a fool ago


The picture had been taken the day before the fight. He smiled; it was one of many happy memories of their time together. They had taken off for a day down at the seashore. He gazed at the picture, his vision filled by her image framed by azure ocean and golden sand, the setting sun forming a halo around her laughing face.


It's the hour of the ghosts
I'm the sole survivor
You keep pushing me
To pull another all-nighter


His princess. Now, his angel. He set the heavy frame down, swallowing convulsively. Closing his eyes, the pain came rushing back. He remembered the telephone call from the emergency room, the voice on the other end calm yet urgent. He remembered the frantic rush to the hospital, breaking every speed limit on the way. He remembered the long walk to the operating room, only to have them tell him there was nothing they could do. They had allowed him to see her one final time. His heart had clenched at the sight of her, so small and battered-looking, against the crisp white sheets.


And I wish I could take back our last goodbye
Knowing what I know now about foolish pride
I'd hold you in my loving arms
And say I love you so
And I wouldn't start this story
Once upon a fool ago


He should never have let her leave. He should have taken her keys from her; blocked the doorway; anything to keep her there, keep her with him. Now she was being taken from him, and there was nothing he could do but watch.

He remembered the familiar pain. The pain that now followed him through every waking moment; into his dreams. The pain of gathering her frail, broken body into his arms, and feeling her take one final shuddering breath. He cried. He cried for mistakes made, for opportunities forsaken... for happiness lost. With her, went his light, his hope. He drifted through his days, no longer caring. His work became his only solace.

He closed his eyes, futilely attempting to stifle the painful sob that threatened to escape his throat. A single tear ran down his cheek.


No, I wouldn't start this story
Once upon a fool ago...


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